looks good on paper (bakelite) wrote,
looks good on paper


What a crappy year. Francois and I have talked this over many times so I don't feel like going into details, but moving back to Indiana was one of the worst mistakes I have ever made. Car accident, losing health insurance, making too little money, rarely seeing friends or being able to do anything but worry about money. Whoops. There was a lot I hated about living chicago (mainly the freezing cold, high cost of living and oh my god the traffic) but this past year has been ridiculous.
So now I have an awesome new job in a country I have visited once. Not the first time I have done this. I am optimistic, because frankly it won't take much to make me happy. I just want to be able to pay my rent, take care of my family and make sure we can all go to the doctor when we are sick. I don't want to have a car (payment) anymore.

I am still worried about messing up my credit, I don't know why. I was dropped from my insurance for getting pregnant, and they have refused to pay for the medical expenses of my miscarriage ($1000 bucks). Both Francois and Yael have medical bills of several hundred dollars. If I can't sell my car for what I owe on it in the next week, I will have to turn it in as a "voluntary repossession" which goes on my credit report as a repossession and is about as damaging as bankruptcy. I really hope I don't have to move back to the U.S. anytime soon! I'm trying hard not to think of this stuff. I'll just keep paying who I can and hope for the best.

The icing on the cake, I have been having major heart palpitations for the last couple of days. I am sure it is my thyroid again, but I am trying to not die until we get to Belgium and I can go to the Dr. without fear of the bill. It's really freaking scary. When I lie on my side it usually goes away, at least until I sit up again.

I will try to make this my last bummer entry for awhile. We just have to get through the next few weeks, and everything will be ok.
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